Help Feed Me

Lets face it, the world’s rough on seventeen year-old computer geeks like myself. And sometimes it can be impossible to get a decent meal, so if you would like to support me and my projects financially, I would gladly accept any donation no matter how small. Of course you certainly do not have to do this—running Hacking the Human is my hobby, not my business—but if you would like to chip in a little (or a lot) simply chose a food item below and pay for it using PayPal. After that I will put you on the list of people who have helped feed me:


Everybody Loves Ramen! 

Possibly the cheapest edible food in the world, Ramen Noodles are famous for being the only snack to outnumber students on college campuses nationwide. So even though I’m not in college, I’d appreciate it if you bought me a pack or two of Ramen Noodles.

10¢ Buy it for me.

Is Gum Even Considered A Food?

Well, regardless of whether it is or isn’t, chewing gum is certainly the best pocket snack for people who just don’t like tic-tacs. So unless you want me to start chewing tobacco, I suggest buying me some gum =)

25¢ Buy it for me.

Best. Candy. Ever.

Sour Patch Kids have long been my favorite bagged candy. I love them so much that if you buy me a pack, I will totally marry you and we can make our own sour patch kids (if you know what I mean, baby).

$1 Buy it for me.

Gonna Buy Me A Big Mac…

I don’t really like McDonalds that much, but their Big Macs aren’t too bad. So for your generous donation of only 5 dollars I will be able to clog my arteries once again with this greasy sandwich.

$5 Buy it for me.

Pizza Pizza! 

Everybody likes pizza, right? So why not buy me one? Don’t worry, your kids can go hungry for a day or two, so long as I have food in my belly. And if you want to be super l33t haXz0r about it, you could also find out a way to have them deliver a pizza to my house. I currently haven’t found a way, maybe I should stop living out in the middle of nowhere, huh?

$10 Buy it for me.


And if you would like to really help out…


The Peeps At PeTA Aren’t Going to Like This…

While I do think vegetarians are kinda cool in their own sort of way, happen to be a carnivore, and there’s nothing I like more than a steak dinner. So break open your piggy banks or steal your mom’s credit card and send that money my way.

$50 Buy it for me.

Sebastian and the Chocolate Factory!

Do you even realize how awesome it would be to actually own a chocolate fountain?! To me that would be right in between “defeating Yugi Moto” and “blowing up the Death Star“. I don’t care what you have to do to get me this, but I suggest one of the following: Hack into Citibank, sell your house, withdrawal your inheritance or work as a prostitute.

$100 Buy it for me.

Hello Burger King, Can I Place An Order?

If you didn’t get that header, then you obviously haven’t listened to the clips on our Prank Calls page. Shame on you. Anyway, sense Burger King wouldn’t allow us to order caviar from them, I can always ask you for it. Only $1000, any takers?

$1000 Buy it for me.

Lets Buy Out That Effin Clown! 

Ronald McDonald may own the biggest fast food restaurant chain in the world, but nobody is a superman, and I’m sure that clown has a weakness! So donate whatever amount you would like, and we can work towards earning enough money to buy 100% share of McDonalds. Then we can join forces with Walmart and take over the world! Muahaha.

??? Buy it for me.

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